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HABIT NINE Raise Confident Children Few things in life are as important and potentially rewarding or heart-breaking as raising children. Of course, there are no guarantees, but this chapter should help you know how to contribute significantly to the confidence, courage, and self-acceptance of your child. You can help your children gain the ability to relate favorably with others and influence their peers more than they influence your children. If you do this, they will be more stable and steady so that whatever company they’re in, they will be unshaken and unshakable. If you will take seriously the suggestions and testimonies you read in this chapter you will worry less about your children getting into the wrong crowd—unless it is that they want to reach out to them with the love of Jesus. There is, however, a catch. This habit will take a lot of your time for the first eighteen years of each child’s life. For a number of years, before Char and I were married, I had prayed and searched for a wife and anticipated being married. Life with Char has been even better than I expected, though we have had to be intentional, as you have seen in the last chapter. One of the really great surprises in life, however, has been the joy of parenting. We have thoroughly enjoyed each progressive stage with our children, and there have been times of growth for both children and parents. Each phase—newborns, babes-in-arms, toddlers, primary students, junior high, senior high, college, and now adulthood—has produced a never-ending drama of personal growth and joy that has far surpassed anything I ever dreamed. But just as in marriage, successful parenting also must be intentional. Because of the great importance of parenting responsibilities, this and the next chapter are devoted to this subject. It Is Possible We all want to raise confident and obedient children. What we don’t realize is that both are possible, and any of us has the power to do it right. I used to wonder if I would be a good parent. Char and I had an advantage in that our own parents demonstrated a good mixture of love and discipline. Char’s wise and elderly grandmother came to Canada to help when Dan was born, and she too had some excellent practical advice for us. Before we left Canada for Korea, we attended a very helpful seminar by Bill Gothard. In the early seventies when Char taught Christian Family in Korea, we absorbed other valuable materials like Dare to Discipline by James Dobson and The Christian Family by Larry Christianson. Those are great standard books on how to raise children, and most Christian bookstores have these or many other updated fine books available. Go find one. Later I listened to a taped series by Charlie Shedd. In what follows, you will find traces of what we learned from these sources. Distinct advantages belong to those of us whose own parents provided us with good models, but today, even without those advantages, there are enough written materials and experienced successful veteran parents available that you can learn the things you need to if you try. This and the next chapter can help you get started. • End Of Preview • Click
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